Dating Violence: Raising Awareness Among Parents And Teens

Violence can occur in dating relationships and it is a common problem among teenagers just as it is for adults. In such situations, one partner exerts power and control over the other by using sexual assault or physical abuse, along with emotional abuse, usually under the influence of drugs. Those in dating relationships suffer the risk of experiencing sexual violence through date rape and sexual assault. The victims of dating violence are commonly teenage couples or young adults who like to party when visiting friends or clubs in another state and end up using drugs which can lead to violence. This is why as a parent you must be aware of the risks and signs of dating violence lest your own child may become a victim or suspect of it.

What Makes Teens And Young Adults At Risk To Dating Violence

There are certain beliefs which make teenagers or young adults; both male and female, to become either victims or abusers in a relationship. Though such beliefs may also be found among young adults, they are prevalent in teenagers. Here are some examples of such beliefs:

Girls:

• The possessiveness, jealousy and ability to inflict physical abuse nature of teenage boys are deemed as romantic.
• It is the role of the girlfriend to be responsible in solving any type of problems in the relationship.
• Girls are inferior to boys, so girls must follow whatever the boy wants such as partying, using drugs, drinking and smoking just to prove their love and loyalty.
• There is no one else who can help the relationship except the girl.
• If friends are also being abused by their respective partners, then abuse is believed to be normal in a relationship.

Boys:

• The desire to show off their masculinity often leads to physical aggressiveness.
• They believe that they have every right to exert control over their partners and demand intimacy whenever needed, because they possess them, just like an object.
• Using vices such as smoking and drinking as well as participating in illegal activities such as clubbing in adult clubs and drug usage to determine their partner’s loyalty and trust.
• Being supportive and attentive as well as affectionate towards their girlfriends might be seen by others as being weak and thus lose respect towards them.

What Are The Signs Of Dating Violence?

There are many warnings signs of dating violence and you can easily watch out for them. However, when you do identify them, you must take the matter seriously and take the appropriate action towards it. Remember that one incidence of violence is already abuse and enough for the abuser to be jailed without bail. The signs are similar to what adults may experience in domestic violence situations, but are often consistent and severe, sometimes triggered by the use of drugs.

When your teen shows signs of isolation, emotional breakdowns, mood or personality changes and inability to make her own decisions, she may be in an abusive relationship. Even failing grades, truancy and the sudden use of alcohol or drugs are triggered by an abusive partner. As such, physical signs of injury and pregnancy indicate dating violence or abuse.

What Can Girls Watch Out For?

The best way to avoid dating relationships is to educate youngsters about dating abuse. They can watch out for a few signs which may indicate an abusive partner and stay away from him. They can also inform their parents about it so that they can be protected against any possible harm. These are signs they must watch out for:

• Sudden uncontrollable temper
• Severe insecurity as well as jealously
• Constantly checking personal emails and cell phone messages and calls without permission
• Forced sexual activities and harassment
• Usage or possession of drugs and alcohol
• Uncontrollable partying habits
• False accusations
• Humiliating incidences
• Isolation from family and friends
• Mood swings and threats
• Possessiveness and control
• Physical harm in any possible way

For parents with sons, you must also carefully watch out for any signs that your son may have an abusive nature. This can be seen through his relationships with friends and his dating partner, as well as his relationship with you. Make it a point to take action once you are certain about his behavior before he gets into trouble and you have to bail him out of prison.